How to Recover from a Breakup Even if You Were Completely Blindsided

The end of a relationship is difficult. That’s especially true when the

breakup catches you by surprise. If your significant other left you with

little or no explanation, you may be struggling to make sense of it all.

Consider these suggestions for getting back on your feet.

Recovering From the Breakup

1. Give yourself time to heal. Some studies of brain patterns have

found similarities between physical pain and social rejection. Be

gentle with yourself. Eat well and indulge in a soothing activity like a

massage or warm bath.

2. Start a journal. You might benefit from putting things in writing.

Creating a record may help you spot the significance of events that

you initially overlooked. It can also be a great place to record your


3. Reach out to friends. Talk things over with those close to you. Ask for

the support you need. Accept a helping hand. Spend more time with

pals who make you laugh.

4. Set new goals. Tackle new and exciting projects. If you’ve been

thinking about getting a dog, adopt one. Plan a vacation to Costa Rica.

Learn to bake bread or knit a scarf.

5. Change your routines. Familiar places and events can act as triggers

when you’re getting over a relationship. You may want to

temporarily avoid the music you listened to together or the bakery

you visited every Sunday morning.

6. See a counselor. If you notice major changes in your thinking or

you’re still feeling sad after several months have passed, it may be

time to seek outside help. Therapy can present you with alternative

perspectives and solutions.

7. Write your own ending. Even if your partner declines to talk things

over, you can reach your own conclusions. Acknowledge your part in

how things turned out and extend forgiveness to yourself and your

former partner. It will help you let go and move forward.

Preventing Yourself From Getting Blindsided Again

1. Evaluate your relationship patterns. If this is an isolated event,

you may be able to leave it at that. Maybe your partner had a

disturbing event take place in their life or perhaps they were on the

rebound from a previous romance. If these types of breakups keep