If you are healing from heartbreak, it is important not to romanticize the past relationship. Take time to see it for what it was. Some of you may been in a very toxic relationship that encompassed verbal, physical, and/or emotional abuse.
Here are 5 signs that you were trapped in an abusive relationship…
1. They Humiliated You
Humiliation as a form of abuse may have started out with subtle jabs or insults in private and then became full blown yelling and embarrassment in public before you even realized it.
2. They Verbally Insulted You
Verbal abuse may have ranged from insulting your looks, your intelligence, or your worth and it didn’t always include foul language. The main purpose of the verbal abuse was to wear down your self-esteem so that you were compliant and reliant on them—and no one else.
3. They Physically Violated You
Physical abuse almost never starts with a busted lip. It may have began subtly with an intimidating stance, a hand raised, a grab at your arm, or a quick slap to get your attention. This almost always graduates to harsher physical slaps, chokes, grabs, or even punches if you let the previous abuse slide. Abusers know that it takes time to break down their spouse or partner so they think they deserve the abuse.
4. Controlling Behavior
The controlling abuser aims to alienate you from everyone else in your life other than them. That way, your friends or family won’t recognize the signs of abuse or come to your aid. Most abusers want you to be totally dependent on them and no one else. At first it may have appeared that your partner was just really invested in your life and your decisions, but it slowly spiraled into them being in total control.
5. They Alienated Your Friends and Family
An abuser knows that they won’t get away with mistreating you if you have supportive friends and family in the picture to challenge their behavior. That’s why they may have slowly convinced you that others didn’t appreciate you or value your relationship. Before you knew it, you lost all sense of yourself and only had them for support.